Saturday, August 28, 2010

Deja Vu, The Bad Kind

Jaundice. I have it again. Yellow eyes and intensely yellow urine. These symptoms correlate with the unbelievably bad results of the blood tests that were drawn Thursday. AST is 1512 (normal range is 0-40). ALT (also 0-40) is 812. Total bilirubin (0-1.2) is 7.8.

This bucket of bad news elicited an "Oh, my God!" and a "What the f*#@!," then quickly transitioned into tears. Jaundice is something you get BEFORE your transplant, not almost four years afterward. I'm especially unnerved by this turn of events - of all the challenges, issues and health problems I've juggled since my transplant, this is the first time I'm dealing with a condition I had before it. Does this mean my new liver is toast?

I'm more worried than I've been in ages. Monday I'm having a liver biopsy (my second in 10 weeks). After that we'll learn more and deal with it then.

God, thank you for giving me time to get my son settled into his freshman year of college before having this fall into my lap. Dealing with both at once might have pushed me over the edge. Oh - and God, please help me find some grace and peace of mind. Amen.

Photo by Kenn W. Kiser,


Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

After reading this I had a terrible lump in my throat. I am truly sorry to hear this news. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully your doctor will learn something and is able to turn this thing around.
My best wishes to you, Jay.

Deb said...

Dear Jay -- I had a liver transplant three and a half years ago, started a blog, then stopped abruptly when everything became too overwhelming. Thanks for the blog Jay, and thanks for your courage in saying all the things I wanted to say. I'm so thankful for this new life but I'm also in constant pain, have gained a LOT of weight in spite of having no appetite and I'm beginning to experience the same cycle of worrisome tests you've spoken of.

I'm going to try to get back to my blog but in the meantime I want you to know I understand all you are going through and my prayers and hopes are with you.